TWIST!
In a thrilling turn of events (only not really - I'm sorry, I'm really boring at the moment), it turns out Low Ferritin wasn't my nemesis after all.* The ferret was a herring.
It may in fact be citalopram, which really is a shocking revelation, as I thought we were friends. Talk about betrayal. It's like that moment at the end of Philosopher's Stone where it turns out to be Quirrell and it blows your 9-year-old mind. My dissertation was partially dedicated to the manufacturers of citalopram for stopping me from freaking out while I wrote it. And now it may be what's messing with my sleep and making me tired all the time.
Who would have guessed?
As I did guess, however, one alternative is that I am depressed. It was quite a lot of fun, actually - the doctor gave me little symptom cards to sort into piles (I created a middle pile for "sort of", because I value accuracy, and at least give me a Likert scale, doc), and it turns out that sleeping badly, and being tired, grumpy, withdrawn, unable to concentrate and sometimes sad might mean I'm depressed. I had five in my pile, and she said it only takes three to diagnose depression. But she didn't diagnose me with depression, so that may have been a lie.
In my non-medical opinion, I think all those other things may be true because I'm tired and sleeping badly. I don't feel particularly depressed. But honestly, right now I don't care what it is. I just want to know how to fix it so I can stop feeling all these things. So I will break up with citalopram and see if that fixes everything. For the record, I will not be breaking up with anyone else mentioned in my dissertation acknowledgements (family, friends, proofreaders, and particularly John Finnemore and the cast of Cabin Pressure).
Any minute now, I promise I'll cut the boring overly personal posts and tell you about my adventures again. But right now, these are my adventures. Sometimes I accomplish one or two things in a day, and sometimes I don't. But given that this is one of the (probably few) times in my adult life when I can get away with spending days at a time watching Suburgatory and Criminal Minds, it could be much worse.
I would like to feel able to do more things, but that'll come back. And then I'll go back to being my ultra-productive gourmet-cooking marathon-running self. Or I'll remember to buy groceries and sometimes I'll go to gym. Or whatever.
In the mean time, here are some things which are more interesting than me:
1. This is an easy, vegan chocolate cake recipe. I make it all the time. Or at least, every time I want to make chocolate cake. Sometimes I make other things instead.
2. This is a lovely article about a little boy at his happiest and most comfortable in his new Christmas dress.
3. This is probably the best version of the Hallelujah Chorus you will ever see.
4. This is... ok, I've been too lazy to really figure out what Ingress is. But it looks both like fun and like a good excuse to walk around collecting imaginary glowing things. Join me, Android friends.
5. THIS IS ADORABLE. (Source)
6. This is an awesome literary award "for science fiction or fantasy that expands or explores our understanding of gender".
7. This is a podcast about interesting things.
8. This is where I go to make myself hungry and remind myself that other people make much prettier food than I do.
9. This is The Sunday Puzzle.
10. This is an excellent collection of radio shows for download.
*Also, can I just say that I totally want a ferret now? Where would I even find a rescue ferret?
In a thrilling turn of events (only not really - I'm sorry, I'm really boring at the moment), it turns out Low Ferritin wasn't my nemesis after all.* The ferret was a herring.
 |
| Awww. (Source) |
Who would have guessed?
As I did guess, however, one alternative is that I am depressed. It was quite a lot of fun, actually - the doctor gave me little symptom cards to sort into piles (I created a middle pile for "sort of", because I value accuracy, and at least give me a Likert scale, doc), and it turns out that sleeping badly, and being tired, grumpy, withdrawn, unable to concentrate and sometimes sad might mean I'm depressed. I had five in my pile, and she said it only takes three to diagnose depression. But she didn't diagnose me with depression, so that may have been a lie.
In my non-medical opinion, I think all those other things may be true because I'm tired and sleeping badly. I don't feel particularly depressed. But honestly, right now I don't care what it is. I just want to know how to fix it so I can stop feeling all these things. So I will break up with citalopram and see if that fixes everything. For the record, I will not be breaking up with anyone else mentioned in my dissertation acknowledgements (family, friends, proofreaders, and particularly John Finnemore and the cast of Cabin Pressure).
 |
| I have no idea how I would have made it through dissertation season without them. And the real life people, obviously. (Source) |
I would like to feel able to do more things, but that'll come back. And then I'll go back to being my ultra-productive gourmet-cooking marathon-running self. Or I'll remember to buy groceries and sometimes I'll go to gym. Or whatever.
 |
| I will certainly get back to jumping off things. Priorities. |
1. This is an easy, vegan chocolate cake recipe. I make it all the time. Or at least, every time I want to make chocolate cake. Sometimes I make other things instead.
2. This is a lovely article about a little boy at his happiest and most comfortable in his new Christmas dress.
3. This is probably the best version of the Hallelujah Chorus you will ever see.
4. This is... ok, I've been too lazy to really figure out what Ingress is. But it looks both like fun and like a good excuse to walk around collecting imaginary glowing things. Join me, Android friends.
5. THIS IS ADORABLE. (Source)
6. This is an awesome literary award "for science fiction or fantasy that expands or explores our understanding of gender".
7. This is a podcast about interesting things.
8. This is where I go to make myself hungry and remind myself that other people make much prettier food than I do.
9. This is The Sunday Puzzle.
10. This is an excellent collection of radio shows for download.
*Also, can I just say that I totally want a ferret now? Where would I even find a rescue ferret?
0 comments:
Post a Comment