Spring Rains

It's spring! Do you want to know how excited I am? I am this excited.

SO EXCITED.

Spring in Jo'burg is my favourite season/place combination of all the seasons and places I've experienced (and there have been quite a few). The weather warms up and everything starts to smell like jasmine and yesterday-today-and-tomorrow, which is a particularly appropriate plant, given that it makes me feel wildly optimistic and painfully nostalgic all at once. It hurts in a way I can't quite define, but I love the spring here so much that I don't know if I could ever give it up.

And yesterday, it rained.

The first rain of the season is a big event here. Sometimes we make it all the way into October without having had a drop of rain since May, so the tension that builds up is incredible. I felt there was less of a build-up this year, but the excitement when we realised that we might have rain today was palpable. Dave was sitting in the garden like a child waiting for Christmas, shouting up the latest updates from Twitter and reports from friends in neighbouring areas until at last there was nothing for it but to go down and join him.

Any minute now...

I WILL BE DOWN IMMEDIATELY

For ages, we had only a few disappointing drops of rain, but at last it started raining properly. The bulk of the storm was still a way off, but we had enough thunder and lightning to make it feel like a real Highveld storm. I can't even tell you how much I love thunderstorms. They're one of the things I missed most in the UK - I think I heard one peal of thunder in my whole year there.

I'm serious when I say I'm not sure if I could give it up. I just don't know if I could leave here again. For some reasons, I would like to. There are a lot of things about living here that are not amazing. There are a lot of places I want to go, and some places I maybe want to live. But the thought of giving up sunny winters and summer thunderstorms is almost too much to bear.

But although not everything is amazing, there are a lot of things (besides the climate) which are amazing. One of them is my godchild.

LOOK HE IS A KITTEN.

KITTEN KITTEN KITTEN.

Kitten!

KITTEN.

Kiiiiitteeen. <3

His name is Louis, which is short for Louis-Harry-Zayn-Niall-and-maybe-Liam, which is an upgrade from -and-not-Liam, after Hannah managed to convince Ro that his least favourite member of One Direction was actually also quite adorable. And thus, peace was restored (we take 1D quite seriously here). Anyway, Louis is a lovely kitten and he likes me. So now I just need to raise him in the ways of the Lord, or something? (I'm not actually sure what godparents do.)

My house has been a particularly wonderful place lately. The house itself being big and spooky and weird, it can be a bit of a miserable place to be when you're the only one in it, but over the last few weeks quite a lot of us have been around quite a lot of the time, and I've been reminded of why I'm so happy here. I live with a bunch of really lovely people and we look after one another and eat nice food and have YouTube-and-wine parties.

And sometimes we're even all in the same place. <3

I'm sure I've said this before, but, on the whole, I don't think of myself as a people person. I'm an introvert and I need a lot of time to myself to feel rested. When I'm run down, as I have been while I've been sad, being around people is difficult. There was a time at the beginning of the year when I wasn't well and I just couldn't bear the thought of being around people all the time and I was really tempted to live on my own. I'm so, so glad I didn't try and do that. I've made amazing friends in this house, and even when I do shut myself in my room for a while with my sads, it's heartening to know that, when I'm ready to emerge, there'll be someone putting the kettle on (or pouring the wine and opening up YouTube).

I love them like I love this yarn-bombed tree.

I'm hoping for change this spring, because I like symbolism, and spring is super for that. I'm still fairly sad and dissatisfied on and off, but I've had quite a few moments of pure joy recently, and they give me hope.

Also giving me hope is my new favourite Tumblr, YOU ARE FUCKING MAJESTIC, which I love even more than I love Nick Clegg Looking Sad. Here is your piece of wisdom for today:

NEGATIVE FEELS IN YOUR BRAIN SPACE RIGHT NOW? CREATE A WINDOW IN YOUR MIND AND DEFENESTRATE THAT BULLSHIT!

EVERYONE FEELS BAD SOMETIMES CAUSE WE ALL HUMAN AND SHIT. BUT LIKE, FUCK THAT NOISE, YOU ARE WONDERFUL AND JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THIS THING CALLED LIFE THE BEST WAY YOU KNOW HOW. AND MAY I SAY YOU ARE DOING A FAN-FUCKINIG-TASTIC JOB AT IT? I HOPE SO BECAUSE I JUST DID!

AND SHIT, IT’S NOT LIKE THOSE HATEFUL THOUGHTS ARE PAYING RENT TO LIVE INSIDE YOU OR SOME SHIT. KICK THAT TO THE CURB AND THEN WALK RIGHT PAST IT IN THAT SUPER SEXY STRUT OF YOURS.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to fly off and save the world.

BRB.