i have adventures (sometimes)

Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Probably the Best Blog Post in the World

The main point of this entry is to share this picture:

This is probably the most English sign in the world.

I wish I could blame the fact that I haven't had time to blog on how hard I've been working. But that would imply that I've been working hard, and that would be misleading. I've been baking hard, and going to gym like a boss, and mostly remembering to do my laundry and stuff, but I definitely haven't been working myself to the point of nervous collapse, which is a really nice change from Honours. So anyway, I'm not really sure what's been keeping me busy, but I suspect it's mostly the internet.

And Sinterklaas!

But tonight, I'm going to Manchester to see Tim Minchin and Uncaged Monkeys, which should give me something interesting to blog about, especially because I'm going to attempt to cycle to the station when I don't really know the way.

They'd better appreciate that I'm going to get lost in the cold for them.
What could possibly go wrong?

On a completely unrelated note, here are some reasons I'm starting to suspect that I might not be a domestic goddess:

1. I have about five things that need mending, and the closest I've got to doing it is half-heartedly buying needles and thread at the pound store. I have no idea how to go about fixing the large hole in my jeans, but I refuse to buy new ones. This is obviously because I'm sticking it to the capitalist overlords, and totally not because trying on jeans in changing room mirrors makes me cry.

2. I'm still not entirely sure how it happened, but I put a handful of raisins in with my laundry yesterday. I opened the dryer to find them sitting there, all sad and squashy and covered in lint, giving me a look of reproach.

3. I have stained almost every white thing I own by failing to read the instructions on my fabric softener. Apparently, it says "Don't pour directly on top of clothes". Who knew?

4. My homemade mince pies could have been used for hammering in nails, building houses, or warding off an invading barbarian army. Fortunately, once they'd been microwaved to within an inch of their lives, it was also possible to eat them. Just.

5. I can't make toast without burning it. One day, I'm going to set the kitchen on fire, and it will be very embarrassing.

5. Scary-looking dust life is spawning on top of my cupboards. I'm pretty sure I saw something up there wave a tentacle this morning. Ignoring it seems like the safest bet. Because that's almost never how horror movies start.

Between that and my inability to net a purse or cover a screen, I'm never going to find a husband. What a tragedy. At least I can console myself with the best sandwiches in the world.



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