|Someone pat me on the back. I can't lift my arms.|
So basically, I'm not in any state to be interesting, unless you're particularly intrigued by how many hours I spent in the library this week (um, lots), or the morning I decided I had meningitis and would die in four hours before I remembered that I'd fallen off my bike twice* the day before, which was probably why all my muscles were stiff.
But fortunately, although I am sore and tired and unable to form coherent sentences any more, the internet is full of interesting things. Better yet, many of those interesting things are written by Real People.
By "Real People", I mean people who aren't internet celebrities like Allie, Katie, Ashley and Stephen and Adam. There's no real criterion for being not-a-Real-Person other than how excited I'm likely to be if you reply to me on Twitter, and the punishingly small odds that I will ever be like, meet, or marry you.
Or maybe it's the fact that I don't consider it creepy to express my desire to marry you. Not that I fall in love with strangers on the internet or anything. Because that would be crazy. (But Adam, if you're reading this, I love cats** and make Pokemon references too). But expressing a desire to marry a Real Person based on what they write on the internet would just be creepy. And I'm nothing if not, uh, not creepy.
Look, sentences are hard right now.
So here are some interesting things by people I may want to be like, I may have met, but whom I am expressing no desire to marry (although I will be at least moderately excited if they reply to me on Twitter).
Greatest hits: The Perils of Second Hand Books (a look at the scary scary things that live and die in books) and Divine: The Series - A Snarky Review (which is a pretty self-explanatory title, really).
Greatest hits: Introduct-a-Han (for purposes of going "You like that? I LIKE THAT!") and It's Christmas, it's Christmas, it's Christmas! (mainly because it contains the phrase "DRUNK ON CHRISTMAS CHEER. And now cider.").
national flags out of bread and condiments.
Greatest hits: The History of Spanish in 10 Words (which is fascinating and contains the word "Espíderman") and Famous Hedgehogs (because I bet you didn't even know you were curious).
Greatest hits: Condescension for Christmas (on everyone's favourite Christmas song) and Waiting for no one (on the church's confused and damaging view of dating).
And now I'm going to go and have some Christmas with some family, because family have to carry on liking you even if you're boring (and even if you fall asleep with your face in a mince pie).
|You can tell I'm in a real house because this tree didn't even come from the pound store.|
Merry Christmas, everyone!
*The first time was the fault of black ice. The second time was arguably my fault for
**Not this much.