Guide Me O Thou Great Twist Mop

Well, I've managed to be away a solid month. Don't worry, I won't be offended if you didn't notice. And I certainly won't bring it up passive-aggressively in conversation indefinitely. That doesn't sound at all like the sort of thing I would do.

But anyway. I come bearing GOOD NEWS!

And this GOOD NEWS is that I now have a real, honest-to-goodness, salaried, pension-funded, medical-aided, 9ish-to-5ish job.

I think it's probably because I'm so good at looking thoughtful and serious.

#convincingadult

So come Monday, I will be starting as a Research Executive at a market research firm. I'm not entirely convinced it's what I want to do, but the company and the people seem really nice, and most importantly it's income and experience. You never know - maybe I'll be as happy as this man with his onion (has anyone been this happy about anything else ever?).

I'm totally taking up giant vegetable farming.

One of the great things about starting full time work is that I can finally stop freelancing. I've had some pretty regular, good work for the past few months, but it has meant getting home from work every day and sitting down to work, then spending my weekends choosing between work and constant guilt. It hasn't left me with much time or energy for anything else, including blogging - hence the lengthy silence. I've been feeling pretty down and detached from my life as a result, so it's a real relief to be able to stop. Even though I did just sign a contract which included a clause about an unspecified amount of compulsory unpaid overtime. Um.)

And life has been rolling on past me in the mean time. I've been to a wedding and I've been to a funeral. I was vaguely helpful in winning a pub quiz, largely because there was a language round. I've also been seeing a very nice human, and not just because he's very good at pub quizzes. That's entirely incidental. Entirely.

We're so talented that up to 80% of us can hold a certificate the right way up.

One housemate is leaving and a new one has moved in. I've been forgetting to chase that happy at a time when I really should, although I have spent an inordinate amount of time exchanging pictographic One Direction lyrics, which totally counts.

You're insecure... Don't know what for...

I've drunk cocktails and talked about boys with Rowan, and thereafter been a valuable object lesson for my young brother about hangovers. I've built a sheep ship and staged an epic sea battle with a cow ship at Sci Bono.

Onwards to victory.

I've left 4 jobs in the space of a week, and eaten just about enough cake to make up for the accompanying emotional exhaustion. I've also given my life to Twist Mop. This is my new favourite religion and new favourite hymn. (Well, second favourite.)

Amen.

I'm hoping to get back into blogging more regularly now that I have only one job and will hopefully have more time to have Exciting Adventures, or at least get some proper sleep and have more time to myself. It feels like quite a definite new chapter in my life, and I'm hoping it'll be a good one.

I'm just trusting Twist Mop to guide me through it all. Here ends the lesson (thanks be to Twist Mop).